Life and more PCB

So I haven’t written anything in awhile and figured I’d try to start again because I need some place to get my thoughts out. It’s been pretty rough on my mind lately, severe depression coupled with a few other things and it’s unfortunately taken it’s toll on me. I stopped making my PCB stuff for awhile, stopped talking to the few people I do, didn’t really game at all and when I did I’d be quiet, and just became severely reclusive doing nothing all day. There were a few nights it got so bad I’d start crying out of nowhere or I’d just lay there in a catatonic like state letting whatever was on my TV just play on and on. I could name one of many things that is at fault for my mind getting into such a dark space, but honestly what would it accomplish. The most unfortunate part about this is I was ready to completely give up, forsake my friends and family, just completely disappear. I didn’t want to do anything anymore at all and still don’t sort of, but I have to try at the very least. So the other day I got off my ass, took apart a broken TV, removed the pieces off the PCB, and made up a few more pieces. It felt kind of good to actually start working on it again and I hope to keep myself in the swing of things, that’s the main thing I need to do. Keep myself occupied, let my mind not wander, and just keep moving forward as best as I can.

On a side note I did dye my hair purple, but it came out a bit weird. Since I didn’t have enough dye and the bleaching didn’t completely lighten all my hair it’s streaked. I have spots of like purple, dark purple, blonde, and cherry blonde. It’s actually pretty rad and I’m happy I finally went a different color, but now at least I know to get two bottles of the dye.

Well for now I’ll post the few pieces I made the other day along with a few I made awhile back, but completely spaced on posting.

Well hopefully I’ll have more to show off along with a few new designs over the next few days. I’ll try to make sure to post them as soon as I get a few of them done!

We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in;
machinery that gives abundance has left us in want.
Our knowledge has made us cynical,
our cleverness hard and unkind.
We think too much and feel too little.
More than machinery we need humanity,
more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness
– From Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator

Keep Moving Forward,
Mavet

PCB Hearts!

So it’s been a bit since I’ve posted and there isn’t too much going on in my life other than my work. I’ve actually gotten two customers so far and they 5 I’ve recently created are going to be shown to them so they can choose which ones they like. I’m so excited and happy that something I enjoy doing is being remotely successful! Welp enough blabbering for now I’ll just show off the few pictures I have of the ones I’ve made.

The very last one is my personal necklace that came from one of the first circuit boards I’ve stripped. The three together are necklaces I’ve given to my family/friends and they absolutely love them! Now the first 5 are my most recent ones going to be shown to the two customers so they can decide which ones they like best. I made sure to upload the front and backs of a majority of them other than the backing of my own since it’s pretty bland. On that note I’ll end it with a quote I’ve found that I enjoy.

Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one

– Friedrich Nietzsche

Keep Smiling,

Mavet

A Storm In Life

As usual this will be another post containing whatever thoughts are on my mind, songs I’m addicted, thing’s I’m working on, and quotes I like if I’ve found any. Oh I also think I’ve figured out the format I want to type out things. It’d go song, thoughts/life, projects, pictures, quote, and then closing. It’d obviously depend if I have any of these things to type up at the moment of creating a post, but that will hopefully be the continuous layout I have.

I’ve recently gotten myself re-addicted to The Glitch Mob and man I forgot how much I these guys. They’re potentially my favorite Glitch styled artist out there currently. I put on Last.fm to The Glitch Mob and probably have had it going for the last 3 or so hours. You’d think we me about to see a show I’d binge on those guys instead, but nope my love has been rekindled for this group. If you’re into Electronica at all I suggest taking a peek at these guys especially this song (you can click it!). It’s one of my favorites and showcases their ability to add lyrics to a song without it going over the top on the vocals, which I feel is the sole focus on some Electronica artists lately.

So over the last few days a storm of thoughts over the last few days and it’s definitely taking a toll on me. Normally when I have an influx of thoughts they’re nothing to serious, but this is beyond the normal one. This time it’s nearly impossible to keep myself distracted from what is going on inside my head to the point it’s sapping my enjoyment of things. Gaming is no fun and provides a distraction, walks and biking don’t do anything, and basically everything else has been bland and boring. Oddly enough I knew it was coming on too, because typically when I get like this my depression starts acting up and gaming is the first thing to go. After that everything else starts seeming pointless, boring, or just not worthwhile to do. Unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to change this currently other than wait it out, but I am hoping it won’t last too long.

Another thing on my mind lately is what am I doing with myself and where will I be in the next few years. They’re along the same vein of thought process so figured I group them together. Unfortunately I’m not anywhere near what I’ve expected of myself at this age, in fact I’m severely off, because I though I’d be through college by now. I never went through with it though since I was unsure what I wanted to do and didn’t have the cash for it. Now I finally know what I want to do, but I’m absolutely terrified of the idea of going back to school. It’s been so long since I’ve been in the setting of higher education, let alone attempted to further myself through those things. Sadly I keep making excuses for myself for not trying to go back and what’s worse is I know that I’m making up excuses. I’m trying to get over this weird fear of mine, but I don’t know if I can push past it. I’ve lost a lot of drive over the last year and I’m just starting to get a handle on myself again.

Just a bit of random rambling on things now. My hair is almost as long as it used to be awhile ago, which makes me absurdly happy. Personally I love my long hair and others typically like it, but I’ve also gotten comments that they like it short even saying that it’s “cute” on me. Now I got a show I’m going to tomorrow, so hopefully that will be awesome. Sadly I know nobody going to this show with me so I’m all by myself, which is something I’m still not used to for concert. Final thing is I got a few things I’m waiting for currently. New Game of Thrones, Red Versus Blue, and Penny Dreadful are the shows I’m waiting for and games are Halo 5, Witcher 3, and Silent Hills. Halo 5 and Silent Hills are the two deciding factors on the PS4/Xbox One consoles for me since they’re both two great series that I’ve always had fun playing. Hopefully I’ll be able to get both systems at one point, but for now I’ll decide on one after a few exclusives are released.

Enough personal venting and such though, at least for now, because I have some good news. I officially finished my first PCB pin! The keyhole design turned out pretty well, albeit a bit lopsided, but I am so excited to have it completed. I’ve learned something about cutting out these designs though in the process, so hopefully the next one will be better. The ink, marker, or whatever I use to mark when I cut easily wipes off the board so I have to be exact and quick about it. I was almost screwed over though in making the circular part of the keyhole because with cutting it I can only do straight lines. I figured a way to rig up my Dremel by using my grip to hold it in place and realized I had a grinding attachment for it. After that it was simply just grinding down the redrawn outline I had and BAM! I have my first pin. It was oddly a relaxing process of making it and took a bit longer than I wanted due to weather. Now this first half was typed up a few days earlier, but never got around to posting it. I recently finished my 2nd PCB cut-out and it’s a heart. It turned out absolutely amazing! I just need to touch up a few things here and there, try to remove a bit more of the excess solder, and then get a hole in it for a jump ring. This one I want to make into a necklace due to the way the back and front look. I must say I am decently proud of myself on how it turned out, specially considering it’s my second attempt at this.

Now just a few pictures. The 1st set cover the back then front of the keyhole, the 2nd set shows off the front and back of the heart, and the final picture is me showing off my hair. Oh how I can’t wait for it to be longer.

Welp time to end this post though, but before popping off I want to at least end with a quote that I’ve been in love with for awhile.

The loneliest people can be the kindest. The saddest people sometimes smile the brightest. The most damaged people are filled with wisdom. All because they do not wish the pain they’ve endured on another soul.

Having A Great One,
Mavet

We Are The Hearts

Going to say now sorry if this post pops all over the place, but there are a couple of things I wanted to touch on. Most, if not all, of my future posts will probably bounce around like this. Also excuse my writing style, it’s probably not the best and can be potentially difficult to read so forgive me now.

So recently I’ve been listening to a lot of electronic music and stumbled across a beauty, can’t stop listening to it at all. It’s pretty amazing song and I keep finding myself going back to it over and over again. You can find it here if you want to hear it at all which I severely suggest. Though there’s one other song, one that I found about a year ago now, that I’ve also found myself going back to a lot lately. It’s tone is one of sorrow and lost, but the transition from acoustic to electric guitars is one I love.

There was a time before all these lonely nights, washed away with innocence. Forgetting. The voice inside my soul, compassion letting go, leaving me alone again. Regretting. The days when all our love we’d hide inside me. The crooked frame within your heart slowly fading. The life that you deserved and all the pain that lived in you, I’ve held onto.

These lyrics are absolutely amazing to me because of the way to speak to me. To me it speaks about the lost of someone, whether they were a friend, lover, or family, and the effect it has on you after you their gone from your life. I’ve felt this type of lost a couple of times before myself from losing some amazing people in my life, but I continue on even though the memory of them is still there.

Recently took up biking around again, which is pretty amazing considering how much of a shut in I’ve been, but I got to say I absolutely love it. I’ve really missed going around with no aim in sight, just rushing along the side of the road, seeing all the buildings and people around me. I really have missed it so I must make it a point to get out and do it more, especially since the snow has finally melted away. Though it’s a shame my good bicycle is still broken and have to use my backup one, but I’m not sure if I want to use a bit of my taxes to get it fixed yet.

I did go out the other day though which was amazing to me since I’ve retreated from the outside world, but I got to say I had an overall good time. I went downtown with my spare bike and just went all over town seeing some new places and visiting old ones. Unfortunately the old ones dredged up a few memories of a past I can no longer have, but I try to remind myself this is here and now and not live in those memories anymore. I did go see Edgar Allan Poe’s grave finally and it was absolutely stunning to me. It was amazing to me when I saw the flowers, liquor, drawing, and various other things people leave at his headstone. To think a man who was nearly 200 years in our past is still remembered and having a profound impact on people this very moment. The building, which is called Westminster Hall and Burying Ground, is a beautiful old building that stands out amongst the crowd to me. Some of the headstones there were in abysmal state of weather erosion, which made me immensely sad, because these people there had a decent effect on the history of our country and of my town. It’d be amazing to see somebody attempt to restore some of the rundown ones. Though not all of them were in that state, the more prominent people were in okay to great shape, though I wish they’d take care of all of them equally. In the mean time here are a few pictures I snapped with my cellphone, they’re not the greatest quality but I figured I’d share them at least.

As for what’s going on in my life lately I can say not too much. I’ve recently started reaching out to others that were once a near everyday occurrence, but drifted away due to my lack of socialization and putting my previous relationship first. I can say it’s a bit weird talking to people again and making plans because I haven’t done something like this in years. I typically would avoid and make up bogus excuses to avoid contact people for various reasons. Now I’m actually actively trying to hang with old friends and go out to shows again which makes me very proud of myself. I guess I can finally say I’m starting to move forward with my life again and get it back in order.

On a different note that still relates to my life, I am finally getting my art project going! I purchased a portable vice that’s on a swivel mount for holding onto the PCB when stripping it, a hobby knife kit for cutting out my stencils, a rebreather for when I cut into the PCB or stripping because of the dust and potential exposure to harmful chemicals, and the obvious safety goggles. I’m really excited to have this finally started up, because it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time now. I’ll probably just start by making simple stencils and pins move onto more complex ones once I hone my craft. Once I’m better at it I’ll probably figure out a way to move onto converting them into necklaces too, but that might be awhile. I got to thank my family though for this, without them I’d never of even though of doing this and they’ve suggested some great designs for me to attempt. At the end of it all I really hope I can take this somewhere, because it seems like it’ll be a passion of mine. For now though I can share a little image of the tiny little work station I have going on, but I’ll have to change it around soon to incorporate the new utensils I have.

Keep calm and game on,

Mavet