So I’ve been up all hours of the day and night the last few days thinking to myself a simple question of “why do I try to make others happy/smile as much as I do” and I typically go through great lengths to do so at times. It’s been hard for me to pinpoint exactly why, but I’ve had a few pieces I’ve managed to nab out of my mind and figured I’d share. As a person who struggles with his own emotional demons, mainly that of depression, I’ve seen the wickedness they can unleash upon ones self. For my emotional demons have manifested in both suicidal actions and unbridled rage on separate occasions of my life, costing me greatly and furthering myself into despair. So now I continuously attempt to show others that despite all this misery, chaos, and insanity there are still good people out there or people willing to help. I may not be a perfect person and have done bad things to others in my life, but I never wish to see another suffer. So I do what is in my power such as buying a game for a person, holding the door, offering to visit someone when I can, get a plane ticket so I can hang with someone, or just sitting there and listening to whatever woes that person has because at the end of the day they’re just another lost person trying to figure their way through the harshness of our reality. One thing I say though is it isn’t easy and will never be easy, specially of you have certain aspects working against you, but all we can do is try to make to best of it and continue on. That is something I try to show them too, that despite it all we can try to continue moving forward without giving up and that it is okay to lean on others. Some people don’t get this or their pride prohibits them from getting help to any degree, but in the end they still need it. Break them down piece by piece until they let you in to help them for their sake, please please do that. You may not understand what it’s like to be in their shoes, but the very least we can do as a fellow human being is attempt to make each other smile. Show them that this world, even though it has such sorrows and misery in it, can become a beautiful place if you try. I can honestly say I could use that in my life more often, but even though I don’t have someone like that around doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying to show others joy.
Sorry this post jumped around a lot, but just had thoughts I needed to get out there.