Be Kind

So I’ve been up all hours of the day and night the last few days thinking to myself a simple question of “why do I try to make others happy/smile as much as I do” and I typically go through great lengths to do so at times. It’s been hard for me to pinpoint exactly why, but I’ve had a few pieces I’ve managed to nab out of my mind and figured I’d share. As a person who struggles with his own emotional demons, mainly that of depression, I’ve seen the wickedness they can unleash upon ones self. For my emotional demons have manifested in both suicidal actions and unbridled rage on separate occasions of my life, costing me greatly and furthering myself into despair. So now I continuously attempt to show others that despite all this misery, chaos, and insanity there are still good people out there or people willing to help. I may not be a perfect person and have done bad things to others in my life, but I never wish to see another suffer. So I do what is in my power such as buying a game for a person, holding the door, offering to visit someone when I can, get a plane ticket so I can hang with someone, or just sitting there and listening to whatever woes that person has because at the end of the day they’re just another lost person trying to figure their way through the harshness of our reality. One thing I say though is it isn’t easy and will never be easy, specially of you have certain aspects working against you, but all we can do is try to make to best of it and continue on. That is something I try to show them too, that despite it all we can try to continue moving forward without giving up and that it is okay to lean on others. Some people don’t get this or their pride prohibits them from getting help to any degree, but in the end they still need it. Break them down piece by piece until they let you in to help them for their sake, please please do that. You may not understand what it’s like to be in their shoes, but the very least we can do as a fellow human being is attempt to make each other smile. Show them that this world, even though it has such sorrows and misery in it, can become a beautiful place if you try. I can honestly say I could use that in my life more often, but even though I don’t have someone like that around doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying to show others joy.

Sorry this post jumped around a lot, but just had thoughts I needed to get out there.

Keep Strong,

PCB Project

So I figured I’d upload a few images of the little bit of work I’ve managed to get done on my project today. I was so excited to finally start on it too! In fact as I’m typing this I realized I completely forgot to eat anything so far which I probably should do instead of type this up. Woke up to see a great selection of cutting and sanding pieces for the Dremel tool I am using, so as soon as I opened those up I got straight to setting everything up.

pcb imag2 pcb image1

The first two here are just me in my crazy setup outside, it’s crappy and wish the spacing was better but it suits my needs at the very least. Hopefully I can find or make a better layout for myself over the next few days that way I don’t have to stop when the sun starts to go down. These are also probably the closest I’ll get to posting full blown photos of myself. Also not the sweat pants, got to keep it comfy even when work haha.

pcb image

Now this is what I’ve managed to get done so far today. It’s the first one I’ve ever done and I’m really excited how it’s turn out so far. Tracing the outline of the image I wanted was thankfully easily, but I have learned I should probably let the marker sit on the PCB a bit prior to cutting it since it kept rubbing off. Unfortunately I don’t have any of the necklace make material currently so it’ll end up being a pin, which for it’s size I think will suit it better. I decided though out of the two designs I would start with, the other is a heart, that the keyhole would be my best bet. Well that’s all for now and wish me luck! Also if you have any ideas on other designs I should try out just leave a comment.

Keep Smiling,

Life In General

So I’m going to being hitting on a few thoughts I’ve had with the emotional spectrum and their meaning/effects in my life with this one. Don’t know how it’ll go, it’ll potentially be just rambling, but none the less I want to get it out there.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, mainly bout my past, but none the less a lot. Unfortunately things that come with me thinking about these subjects typically manifest in the forms of depression and regret. I know lots of people struggle with both of these things through their entire life, I am one of them, and it’s a shame people don’t realize it or react wrongly to those people. I feel that they don’t realize that we’re not happy because we don’t want to be, heck if anything it’s the opposite of that, but we’re not happy because we can’t be. Something at some point greatly effected us, we have a mental ailment, or even a combination of both that keeps us in these gloomy moods. Sometimes they’re mild for me, but I’ve had days where I can’t function as a human or randomly burst into tears. The benefit of me having these issues though is there too because it helps me learn how to cope on my own and pass those things onto others. It gives me a purpose with my issues and I can say I’m thankful for that. So all I have to say is if you know a person that struggles with their sorrows just be kind and patient with them, they will not magically be better one day but instead it will take time for them to heal again. Just try to stick by there side, help them along the way, and make sure they don’t do anything stupid it because of the depression.

Now onto a jolly one, happiness. This is one that’s probably one of my main goals in life, to achieve what I perceive as happiness for myself. It’s a hard goal to reach, at least in my eyes, for many of us. There are various factors in life that get us so close, but then just snatch it away or we’re almost at the peek of happiness though fall short. Having it in your life, even if it isn’t the most amount you can get, still is a big thing. Lots of people out there only get a smidgen of it unfortunately and others have lots of it, but don’t help others achieve their happiness. The last part is what irks me the most, because we pass by people suffering in some form or another yet we just let them wither away in their issues. We don’t try to help, we don’t offer comforting words, we just continue shuffling amongst ourselves. I, with my recent reemergence into socialization, try to make it an active point to see people smile. I love it when I’m able to do that, because I know that even if I got them to smile for a second, that it probably helped them a little bit that day. I really think it’s something we need to try to do as a species more often because that one little smile, that little bit of time and effort, can go a long way and make a person’s life infinitely better that day. Also I feel that people need to realize even though it makes them happy, though their source of happiness might anger or annoy you, that you should try to be tolerant and let them have it. We have no right to rob a person of their joy at the end of the day, unless it truly is something morally wrong, and it’s something a lot of people need to try and accept. Either way I do believe we all deserve happiness and hope we can all reach it one day.

Empathy, while isn’t an emotion per se, it technically covers almost every emotion out there. I do say a lot of people confuse this with sympathy though, which isn’t wrong really, but it’s more or less a more advanced for of sympathy. I am a severely empathetic person and I have a love/hate relationship with it. It’s great because I’m able to relate to another person’s emotions and situation, despite not experiencing it myself, and from that I can potentially help them. It can be harmful at times, especially when a person is going through such extreme negative emotions like suicidal depression or pure rage, because then you can get dragged into that mindset with them. Another hazard that comes with it is how people can in turn manipulate you via their emotions, they realize you empathetic nature and use it to take advantage of you or blind you from the things around you. I’ve had it happen a few times, I’ve learned from my mistakes, but I still wouldn’t give it up. It’s allowed me to be such a compassionate human being, despite my flaws and mistakes, and allowed me to help several people that have been in my life.

Don’t know where I was exactly going with this post, but felt the urge to just get it out there. Especially after the craziness of the last few days. So enjoy the read, comment, like, glimpse over, whatever fancies you. All in all I hope you get something from this and keep going forward through life despite the chaos around us. Oh and hopefully I’ll get a few pictures up on Sunday or Monday of my art project and the progress I’ve made.

Stay Smiling,